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A Father's Letter to His Children

Posted by Peysakh Avshalumov on

My dear child,

I hope you forgive me as your father. I've learned that no matter how hard you try, you hurt most those you love most. And God knows that I love you. When I was your age, I used to look at my father's mistakes and promise myself not to make those when I had my own children.

I used to prepare myself to become a perfect dad, your perfect dad. But, as soon as you were born I started making my own mistakes. At the end of a long day, when l was tired, when distracted, when stressed, I failed the way my father did. I only realized how imperfect I am by all the ways I failed to love you. And now that I'm older and I've made my own mistakes, I love my dad more, for being there, for never giving up on our family, for always showing up, for trying his best. And now that I'm older, I forgive my father for the times he punished me, for the times he was distracted, for his struggles and his own shortcomings.

That day you were born was the best day of my life. Each time I hear your name I realize my reason for living. When I see your smile my heart flutters. And I'm sorry for the mistakes and I regret any pain I may have caused you. But I never regret loving you. And if one day I'm not here with you physically, all I want you to remember is that I loved you more than you can imagine, more than you will ever know, until you have your own children. I love you so much that I will never leave you. I'll always be there when you speak, in your doubts, when you laugh, if you cry.

I'll be there when someone else takes your hand to love you. And I'll smile when in your joys and I'll cry when when you're sad. I hope you forgive me for my mistakes. You were my teacher, the first time I leaned how to truly love, not because I had to but because there was nothing else I wanted more in this world. So take me with you and carry me in your heart into eternity.

Your dad.

 
An internist/cardiologist passionate about health, healing, love, poetry, mystic oneness, Judaism, arts and antiques.

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